Keep The Glass Full!

In practically any interpersonal or soft skills seminar I usually talk about the importance of having great self-esteem. So, what is it? Well, it's the way you see your whole self, mentally, physically, and emotionally. Sadly, depending on the lens you're using at the time, that view can oftentimes be askew. Check out some of these statistics that suggest people don't accept themselves the way they are, so they're constantly trying to change something:

• According to the Cosmetic Surgery National Data Bank, there were over 10 million surgical and non-surgical cosmetic procedures performed in 2008, with surgical procedures accounting for approximately 17% of the total, resulting in a 160% increase in the number of procedures since the late 1990's. This startling statistic comes from The Plastic Surgery Group.
• 80% of American women are dissatisfied with their appearance (Smolak, 1996).

Why do people suffer from low self esteem? While there are many reasons, some individuals suffer from poor body image and focus on all the negative traits of their physical appearance. Others have emotional issues that have caused their self-esteem to drop or feel themselves unworthy of any praise. Go ahead and take the self-esteem test to see where you stand, just remember whatever reasons your self-esteem may falter, the key to building it up again is to find the root of the problem.

Imagine for a moment a glass filled with water, let's call that you filled with positive self-esteem. Now, visualize a pitcher of water, let's call that the fountain of self-esteem. You came into this world filled with good self-esteem, but life keeps happening to deplete you. That's why you have to keep going back to the fountain--you have to keep your glass full. Remember, the only one who can make you excel is you and no one else. The same goes for self-esteem. The only person who can build up—or consequentially tear down—your self-esteem is you. Although other individuals may aide the process, the end decision is yours.

Many individuals look for help for their low self-esteem in books or seminars. The number of available options on the market is phenomenal, and you are sure to find one on a topic that deals with your specific issues. Check out your local library or book store and explore their "self help" section for a book that you may find helpful. Here are a few of my recommendations:



Negativity plays a tremendous role in depleting your self-esteem. Negative thoughts can pervade your confidence and crumble your self-esteem. If you find yourself surrounded by negative people or in a negative situation, try to best remedy the problem. Often, individuals in a abusive relationship have their self-esteem shattered when a supposed loved one constantly berates them and questions their worth. Similarly, a negative workplace environment can lower your self-esteem with colleagues or bosses finding fault with your work. Maybe you have a friend who is consistently negative with all surrounding him or her. Whatever the source, distancing yourself from the negativity will help you re-fill your glass of self-esteem. Strive to surround yourself with positive people. If you are going through a rough time in your personal life, you may wish to join a support group. Similarly, there are support groups available for individuals with self image issues. These groups will allow you to meet other individuals like yourself and provide a forum for you to sound your hopes and achievements.

However you choose to begin building your self-esteem, do so today! Be thorough and consistent with the process and be aware it may take a while. You should not become impatient or despondent if you find your self esteem slipping. Remember, you are an important and worthy person and should treat yourself as such.

Keep the glass full!